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Raleigh McCool
Raleigh McCool

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Published in Slackjaw

·Pinned

Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry Hosts A Q&A With New Defense Against The Dark Arts Teacher, Ted Lasso

As rumors swirl about the Dark Lord’s return, the renowned wizarding school makes a curious hire in their attempts to keep the forces of evil at bay. — Ted Lasso: Well hiya, fellas. How y’all doin’? Being the new guy, I suppose y’all might have a few questions for me. Why don’t we start here, yes ma’am? Rita Skeeter: Mr. Lasso, after two up and down seasons in England’s football leagues, why Defense Against the Dark Arts? …

Humor

4 min read

Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry Hosts A Q&A With New Defense Against The Dark Arts…
Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry Hosts A Q&A With New Defense Against The Dark Arts…
Humor

4 min read


Published in Slackjaw

·Pinned

Cookie Monster Reviews Nicki Minaj’s Verse From “Monster”

Ten years after the song’s release, the ‘Sesame Street’ star breaks down Minaj’s iconic verse. — It’s one of those moments: you remember exactly where you were when you first heard it, what you were wearing, who you were with. We were at the Count’s castle, and I was totally naked. The Count was a big Nicki fan — ever since he’d moved to New York…

Humor

3 min read

Cookie Monster Reviews Nicki Minaj’s Verse From “Monster”
Cookie Monster Reviews Nicki Minaj’s Verse From “Monster”
Humor

3 min read


Pinned

I Am The Gooey Filling Of The Oatmeal Creme Pie And I Deserve The Credit For Alabama’s Dynasty

After six championships in eleven years, the oatmeal-based Little Debbie cake makes its case for glory. — “(Nick) Saban is a big believer in oatmeal cream pies” — Sports Illustrated, 1/6/2018 When you’ve won six championships in eleven seasons, everybody wants to know your secret. How you train, recruit, motivate, practice, and, year after year after year, win. …

Football

3 min read

I Am The Gooey Filling Of The Oatmeal Creme Pie And I Deserve The Credit For Alabama’s Dynasty
I Am The Gooey Filling Of The Oatmeal Creme Pie And I Deserve The Credit For Alabama’s Dynasty
Football

3 min read


Jan 3

22 Albums That Brought Me Joy in 2022

I listened to more music than ever before in 2022. From hardcore to hip-hop to hyperpop — and whatever thrilling mixture of it all Rosalía brought us — here are the albums that brought my joy this year. — I did a lot of driving this past year. Like, an incomprehensible amount of driving. I skirted the border near Tijuana and meandered into Washington state; navigated a mirage-hot desert day in Moab and forged through a blizzard in the Rockies on the same day; careened across most of the…

Music

21 min read

22 Albums That Brought Me Joy in 2022
22 Albums That Brought Me Joy in 2022
Music

21 min read


Aug 10, 2022

How Ronald Acuña Jr.’s Slide Helped Answer Life’s Biggest Question

The star Braves outfielder cemented Atlanta’s win on Tuesday with an astonishing slide into home. Acuña‘s dash thrilled, and in so doing raised bigger questions: like, why go in the first place? — Let’s talk about the slide. Because a game of thousand-mile-an-hour heaters and gargantuan dingers can become on occasion dodge ball. Tag. …

Baseball

6 min read

How Ronald Acuña Jr.’s Slide Helped Answer Life’s Biggest Question
How Ronald Acuña Jr.’s Slide Helped Answer Life’s Biggest Question
Baseball

6 min read


Mar 16, 2022

Some Thoughts on Presence, and Freddie Freeman

For over a decade, the first baseman was the cornerstone of the Atlanta Braves. And now he’s gone. — First base, as a position, has a certain amount of clout. Shortstop does too. Center field. There is, of course, the battery: the pitcher and the catcher. But catchers are interchangeable now, and pitchers are so disposable one got pulled as I was writing this sentence. …

Baseball

9 min read

Some Thoughts on Presence, and Freddie Freeman
Some Thoughts on Presence, and Freddie Freeman
Baseball

9 min read


Mar 9, 2022

Brian McKnight Live from the NBA Replay Center

When pressed to make a crucial call during an NBA game, the Grammy-nominated R&B crooner sings a familiar tune — just in the nick of time. — Mike Breen: We go now to Brian McKnight, our Rules and Officiating Expert. Brian! Brian McKnight: One, let me just say: this job is a dream come true. Mike Breen: Honored to have you, Brian. How many steps does James Harden take here? Brian McKnight: Two. Harden is cradling the…

Humor

2 min read

Brian McKnight Live from the NBA Replay Center
Brian McKnight Live from the NBA Replay Center
Humor

2 min read


Nov 7, 2021

The Atlanta Braves’ Season Was Over — Until Somehow It Wasn’t

A sprawling recap of the 2021 Atlanta Braves’ World Series championship season, from Opening Day to the clinching out. I’m actually still quite unsure how it happened, even after writing all these words. — The baseball team from the greater Atlanta metropolitan area, the Braves, defeated all the other baseball teams, improbably so, in 2021, and won the dadgum World Series. It mathematically, cosmically, scientifically, and perhaps at times even spiritually should not have happened. …

Braves

28 min read

The Atlanta Braves’ Season Was Over — Until It Somehow Wasn’t
The Atlanta Braves’ Season Was Over — Until It Somehow Wasn’t
Braves

28 min read


Oct 5, 2021

In Lieu of an AL Wild Card Game Preview, Here’s a Live Look at Rob Manfred Dancing in the Streets

Instead of a formal American League Wild Card Game preview, it seems important to convey Rob Manfred’s precise current whereabouts: cavorting through the streets of New York. — I’ll eschew the pregame lineup analysis, skip the sabermetrics, and just come right out and tell you about the MLB commissioner’s top hat, trench coat, and tie loosened whimsically at the neck as he prances through the streets.

Baseball

2 min read

In Lieu of an AL Wild Card Game Preview, Here’s a Live Look at Rob Manfred Dancing in the Streets
In Lieu of an AL Wild Card Game Preview, Here’s a Live Look at Rob Manfred Dancing in the Streets
Baseball

2 min read


Jun 25, 2021

Some Thoughts on Storytelling, and an Impossible Vanderbilt Victory

Vanderbilt’s 6–5 win over Stanford on Wednesday in the College World Series uprooted all the myths we make about sports. How do we make sense of sports — of life? — when the story abandons us? — Let us talk briefly about storytelling theory. This will not be a graduate-level course. English professors at, say, Vanderbilt or Stanford may scoff at these brushing strokes. Joseph Campbell proposes the idea of the monomyth — one single story: in all our stories, we’re just riffing on that. The monomyth…

Baseball

4 min read

Some Thoughts on Storytelling, and an Impossible Vanderbilt Victory
Some Thoughts on Storytelling, and an Impossible Vanderbilt Victory
Baseball

4 min read

Raleigh McCool

Raleigh McCool

129 Followers

Humor, sports, music. raleighmccool at gmail dot com

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